Mending the Net is a caring guidebook offered by a “Net Worker” who managed to create a healthy family life despite her lack of one growing up. The title comes from a recurring image in the author’s meditations: a net holding droplets of love and light that connects us to each other and to our Source. The net can be torn…but also restored.
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Partly because the author circles back over her own narrative a fair amount as a case study, the book is probably most appropriate for those at the beginning of their therapeutic journey. The occasionally redundant style will reinforce the material. Readers just starting to reach for answers will find helpful rudimentary exercises to help shift from negative to positive emotions, re-imagine a traumatic event and reset personal boundaries.
One exercise useful in daily life involves learning and using non-defensive responses when attacked, criticized, belittled or shamed. When someone attacks us with criticisms, we defend ourselves from the onslaught by retreating or escalating the intensity. If you have ever been in a cycle of attack, defend, escalate, it is challenging to change that negative dynamic. This is learning how to unhook from toxic patterns. Understand that you will not change the viewpoint of your parent or boss or spouse, but recognize that you don’t have to participate in the verbal dance of attack and parry. The introduction is followed by seven pointers on deflecting the slings and arrows that will inevitably come your way.
The book is also suited for those comfortable with a variety of modalities. Boyer combines a western-style MA in Counseling Psychology with spirit-centered rituals across traditions–the eclectic result of her far flung research into healing.
“Acceptance of your past is an act of will that gives your present emotional gravity.”
Mending the Net strikes a nice balance by helping readers develop positivity while neither burying nor holding onto the negative experience. Boyer suggests using an accept-and-release strategy instead. With chapters on Dysfunctional Family, Forgiveness and Unconditional Love, it is an encouraging first step on the path to wholeness.
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