Seal It With A Kiss promises to have readers kissing like goddesses by the end of the book’s 131 pages. The author, Violet Blue, breaks down the art of kissing, starting from why we kiss and then progressing to unique techniques to try. The chapters review how to make intriguing eye contact with another human being or how to put on sexy, shiny lip gloss, and read a little too like a teen magazine and not enough like adult erotica, which makes for a sometimes boring read. The tips for how to get the kiss go into so much detail – how to position your legs, how to form your mouth, where to make eye contact, what parts of the body to touch – that a reader actually trying to follow these steps in an real date setting would look utterly spastic.

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“Is the kiss an emotional gesture that comes from the heart, or a raw animal thing that comes from the groin?”

Included in this “field guide” are some game suggestions, the do’s and don’ts, film and song recommendations (to set the mood) and ways to practice. Of course, practicing your upper to lower lip kissing ratio on your hand feels like it should be reserved for middle school slumber parties. However, there were some interesting tricks – share candy (like Pop Rocks or butterscotch), try edible body paint, or kiss underwater (try not to drown). Then for every one interesting suggestion, there are five useless or odd tips – kissing the roof of someone’s mouth or munching on basil for a “brazen” smooch.

Violet Blue’s guide to help one become a champion of kisses leaves something to be desired. On the plus side, it is an easy read and trying out new kissing techniques never hurt anyone (except maybe that mermaid kiss). Though this book could have easily been an online article or two, it is still worth a flip through.

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