Description
As a husband and father of two small children, I know firsthand how the daily grind can test even the strongest relationships. Between work, parenting, and attempting to squeeze in a little downtime, it’s easy for couples to drift apart—not because they don’t love each other, but because their priorities subtly shift without much discussion. That’s why Prioritize Us by Nick Brancato is such a refreshing and valuable read.
Brancato’s book isn’t just another relationship guide filled with abstract advice; it’s a practical, research-backed roadmap for couples looking to strengthen their bond by aligning their priorities. His core premise is simple but powerful: many relationship conflicts stem from misaligned priorities, not a lack of love. Whether it’s disagreements over how to spend money, allocate free time, or handle family obligations, Brancato argues that these conflicts can be traced back to hidden differences in what each partner values most.
At the heart of Prioritize Us is the Prioritize Us Test, a structured tool that helps couples assess and compare their personal and shared priorities. By assigning values to aspects of life such as career, finances, intimacy, and family, couples can calculate their Total Difference Score (TDS)—a metric that reveals how closely their priorities align. Brancato makes it clear that a perfect TDS is nearly impossible (and not the goal); rather, the exercise encourages honest conversations that foster empathy, compromise, and intentional decision-making.
One of the book’s biggest strengths is its accessibility. Brancato writes in a way that feels conversational and relatable, avoiding dry relationship psychology in favor of real-world examples. He shares stories of couples struggling with priority misalignment—whether it’s one partner focusing on career growth while the other craves more family time, or differing approaches to financial security versus lifestyle enjoyment. These anecdotes make it easy to see how small misalignments, left unaddressed, can snowball into deeper relationship stress.
Another highlight is the book’s emphasis on practical application. Unlike some relationship books that focus heavily on theory, Prioritize Us provides worksheets, reflection exercises, and concrete action steps that make it easy for couples to apply the principles immediately. Even busy parents (like me!) can find time for these quick but impactful discussions.
While the book’s structured approach may not appeal to couples who prefer a more organic, free-flowing approach to relationship growth, it’s an excellent fit for those who appreciate clear frameworks and actionable steps. My wife and I took the Prioritize Us Test, and while our TDS wasn’t alarmingly high, it definitely highlighted areas where we could communicate better—like how we balance individual self-care with family time.
Ultimately, Prioritize Us is a must-read for couples who want to not just survive but thrive in their relationship. It’s a reminder that love isn’t just about grand romantic gestures—it’s about making intentional choices, every day, that prioritize the relationship itself. Whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, this book offers valuable insights to help you stay connected, aligned, and moving forward as a team.
